Fra innestengt til drittrengt.

Fra sist potering, altså da jeg ble innestengt og slapp ut derfra som en kokt kattepus. Heldigvis ble jeg oppdaget, og kom meg hjem, og det gikk heldigvis ikke lange stunden før jeg følte med i fin form, ………… trodde jeg.


Men etterhvert følte jeg meg litt uggen, nesten som en liten influensa. Maten smakte ikke så fantastisk, og ikke så nøye med å komme seg ut i sommerværet heller. Faktisk føltes det greit å bare ligge inne.

Du har kanskje kjent på den følelsen?
Uansett, om du er tobeint eller firbeint?
Litt uggen og småvondt inn kroppen en plass som ikke er så lett å pote sånn direkte på?

Man spekulerer på så mangt da, kanskje det var harepest?
Det har jeg jo sett og hørt en del om i disse dagene.

Men hadde overvåkningsavdeligas matmorblikk stikkende i ryggen, hele døgnet faktisk.
Tilslutt måtte jeg stå ute i bånd, med studie av alle bevegelsene jeg gjorde, omtrent hvert ett inn- og utpust, ble registrert og notert.


Så konklusjonen blei at jeg ikke var helt frisk. Dermed «ring ring» til dyrlegen, og time bestilt. Ja om få timer, det gikk greit, for så akutt var det da ikke.
Mistanken var at det kunne være det samme som jeg hadde hatt tidligere. Så fikk jeg omtrent dyttet i meg vann, eller vannskåla foran nesen, men var ikke tørst.
Tissepotta kom frem. Urinprøve haster!

Her ble jeg innestengt på rommet med potta.
Det er stellet man får når man ikke føler seg helt greit, og kanskje kunne bli skikkelig syk snart. Satt lenge og vel og kikket på den potta, men det fristet overhode ikke så slippe så mye som en dråpe oppi perlene.

Jeg bare kikket på mor hver gang hun kikket innafor døra, hadde jeg orket skulle jeg ha ristet på hodet og mjauet, «Tørt som en Sahara, både her og der»

Mor hentet en eske med «boil in bag», villris for at jeg skulle få mere å grave i, og til slutt kom pakken med beste risen, grøtris oppi potta.
Men jeg beveget ikke så mye mer enn ytterst på halen min, å kikket bestemt på mor, som satt der å kikket på meg med med «værsåsnill å tissblikket» og urinprøveglasset pent plassert ved siden av seg.

«Tiktakktikktakk» 56 minutter til veterinærtimen. Mor kikket på klokken, reiste seg og mumlet at hun skulle ut å sette klar bilen. Borte ble ho.

«Skrap- skarp», her åpnet døra seg opp, det var Kasper som kom hoppende inn, og lurte på hvorfor jeg hadde stengt meg inne på rommet.

Og han storstirret på doen som sto rett foran meg, mens jeg nikket med værehårene, og hisset «værsågod for min del» til han.
Jeg hadde ikke tenkt å sitte å mige oppi den lille doen, ikke større en en formkakeform engang.

Kasper er jo en ræser i dobruk, og kommer mer en gjerne inn på do, selv om det er fullt av blomsterbed ute, med god plass og blomster i alle farger og størrelser!
Han har ikke fått kattesand i innedoen sin på evigheter… og her sto det endelig en kattedo, men katrineperler, 500 gram villris og 500 gram yndlingsgrøtris å strålte mot han.

Og han var ikke tungbedt, for å mjau det sånn.
Etter måneder, ja kanskje helt siden ifjor, har han ikke fått kjent på deilig kattesand under potene på doturene sine. Hadde det ikke vært for den lille snuten hans, hadde han kunne hatt smilt fra øre til øre.

Han trødde rett opp i doen, lykkelig.
Hadde ikke tid til å grave en dump en gang, som etter god katteskikk skal gjøres.
I løpet av knapt 3 sekunder hadde han fyrt av ei mølje oppi den kattedoen, det så ut som det var ei middels stor melkeku av storferasen som hadde vært innom og lagt igjen ei gedigen ruka oppi katrinekulene, villris og grøtrisen.
Snakk om å få ett «smørje-øye oppi grøten».

Er det virkelig mulig at en 4,5 kg katt kan trykke ute så mye møkk med trøkk på en eneste innpust, må være verdensrekord. Den ruka var så pass romslig at man sku tro det var bare skinn og pels igjen på Kasper.

Hva den tassen klarer å spise aner jeg ikke, men sannsynligvis har han nedlagt et større villsvin siste døgnet. Snakk om griskatt!

Men «smørøyet» var ikke imponerende lenge.

Det luktet like mye som….. det svir i øyene.

For det lukta såpass kraftig at Kasper nekta å grave over ruka si, ja forståelig og heldigvis tenker jeg, for det hadde aldri kommet til å gå bra.

Bare vekta på «den der» gjorde at kattedoen så ut som en skeivlasta gammel sjark, og det ville ha blitt møkk her og der og alle andre plasser det helst ikke burde være, og rommet hadde blitt forvandlet til en utedass på et muselite øyeblikk.

Så nå satt jeg og Kasper inne på her på rommet, men en liten kattedo, som så ut som et bombekrater av ruka fra ei ku, og det lukta som en utedass i 25 grader, bare uten alle fluene.

Uansett hva dyrlegen kom til å diagonisere meg for nå, kom det til å stå forgiftet aller først i journalen min.

Så kom mor inn, og det finnes ikke trykksverte nok for å gjengi det hun sa #¤%&…. Det egner seg ikke på trykk og skal ikke gjengi noe som helst, annet en det var bare ulike varianter av skittprat.
Men dassen for ut, lavtflyvende i nordøstlig retning. Det var 35 minutter til veterinærtimen.

Den urinprøven gikk det dritt med!!!
Spad ut med en hagespade!


Kasper for også ut, ikke i samme retning. Men mot tigerskogen, med halen til værs.
Rævh…..et hans så ut som en stram innsnurpa kjerringtrut, helt uten leppestift, vrikket elegant og fornøyd, like a supermodel, uberørt av hendelsen, ca. 3 kilo lettere!

Det eneste som sto igjen på rommet var emballasjen til villrisen, grøtrisen og ett stusselig tomt uringlass.

Så da dro vi i full fart for å rekke veterinærtimen, med meg, pelspasienten og svett matmor.

Mjau fra Jesperpus…..snart au

300 kommentarer på “Fra innestengt til drittrengt.”

  1. Bodil Gjersøe

    Jeg ler meg ihjel!!!!

  2. NSv

    Unnskyld at jeg gapskratter, men … dette! Håper det går bra med deg, og at fastlegen ordner opp. God bedring!

  3. Kari Mette Øverli

    Jammen . God bedring lille venn

  4. Mona Anita Erikseen

    håper det går bra med Jesper pus

  5. Jorunn Høyden

    jeg ler så jeg griner. For en historie, skjønner godt at mor ble både fortvilet og mer til…..
    Håper de fant ut hva som feiler deg og at du raskt blir frisk Jesperpus. Nuss på snuta.

  6. Kari-Anne Olsen

    ha-ha beste lesning eg har hatt på lenge. God bedring lille venn. Håper du er bra nå.

  7. Kirsten Sønsteby

    Får ikke skrevet mer jeg Jesperpus fordi jeg jeg ler så tårene renner!!!!!!
    Dette var artig lesning. Kommer tilbake vennen

  8. Eva-Britt Sandbæk

    Ja du Jesper du Jesper for en historie. Og han Kasper da håper at doktortimen gikk bra og at du ikke feiler noe skummelt.

  9. Inger J Pettersen

    Hærlig Trenger ikke øyensvertefjernerGod bedring Jesper❤️

  10. Inger Berggren

    Haha nå fikk jeg meg en god latter på morgenkvisten, mor får sagt det, håper det gikk bra hos dyrlegen.

  11. Inger Kikut

    Herlige Jesper

  12. Kristin

    Jesper pus. Matmor skriver så godt at det er en fryd å lese. Både alvor og skjemt. Æ flira godt da ho kom inn og fikk se ka som var i kattedoen. Den regla kunne æ ha tenkt mæ å hørt.Håper det går bra med deg. Pusekos fra oss i Trondheim

  13. Astrid

    Å herlighet så godt og morsomt skrevet, men håper det går bra med deg da Jesper pus. Pusekos og god bedring fra meg

  14. Linda

    Ler så jeg griner,må unnskylde for det men så morsomt skrevet. leste i del 2 at du har blitt bedre ❤ det er fint.

  15. Kari Agathe

    Ha ha ha jeg ler så tårene triller.
    Håper alt gikk bra hos veterinær og at han nå er i fin form igjen❤

  16. Kari Agathe

    For ei godt skrevet historie. Ler så tårene triller
    Syns jeg ser de for meg
    Ikke bra at Jesperpus er syk. Satser på snarlig bedring etter å ha lest det neste innlegget❤

  17. Marilyn

    This is even funnier using Google Translate! One has no idea what is going on except for the pictures.

  18. Kirsten Sønsteby

    Jeg ler så jeg griner, Jesperpus
    Mer er det ikke å si!!!!
    Håper du er frisk nå!!!!!

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